7 Tips for Communicating With Your Ex

Communicating with ex husbands or wives, girlfriends or boyfriends can be tough, frustrating and irritating because it was probably lack of communication which caused the breakdown of your relationship in the first place. How you communicate with your ex can mean the difference between sanity and breakdown so here are some tips for communicating with your ex other half.

Tip #1. Try to avoid negotiations over the telephone as you will have no evidence of what was said.

Tip #2. Communicating with ex spouses or partners is a series of negotiations. Treat dealings with your ex as you would a business relationship. Arrange meetings on neutral ground, dress smartly to keep your morale high, have an agenda and stick to it. Do your ex the courtesy of sending a copy of your agenda by email in advance. Take notes of the actions you agree between you and get your ex to sign them. Send these by email too.

Tip #3. Remain cool and unemotional at all times. Don't rant, scream or cry. Do not rake up past injustices and imagined slights. Do not denigrate your ex's new partner.

Tip #4. If your ex comes to collect your children for a day out, treat him or her in the same way that you would any acquaintance. Be polite but firm about the time of return, don't be rude or shout. If he or she does return your children later than agreed, ask your children to go into the kitchen or upstairs while you quietly point out the lateness. Calmly state that if they are late back again, the access arrangements may have to be reconsidered. Never ever start a fight or reprimand your ex in front of the children.

Tip #5. Communicating with ex partners should never be done through your children. Messages can be forgotten or mixed up. Never ask your children about your ex's new partner, new house, earnings or life. Stick to what they did together and where they went.

Tip #6. If your ex doesn't see the children very often, don't make rules about what food they should eat when they're out. Some fries or a pizza every once in a while won't hurt but make it plain that it's for a treat. Make sure that you give them a treat every so often too or you will become the villain of the piece.

Tip #7. If you can't follow these tips for communicating with your ex or they don't work for you, then involve a counsellor. These people know how to get the best out of anyone and they will help you to work around your differences while overseeing the process.

Following any or all of these tips for communicating with your ex should ensure that your life is a lot easier and your children will respect both of you for your behaviour.

Ella McGinley is keen to help people who are having difficulties communicating with ex partners through her website Get Ex Back Guide.